Forgiveness & Grace

As a relationship coach, I believe the first relationship we must refine is the one we have with our Self. I have developed many tools to help my clients through the clouds of doubt in their lives and recently a client who was having great difficulty with her relationships found it hard to forgive one particular person who had hurt her. After getting to the core of what was really the mountain in her way, we found a way for her to forgive herself first, and her feelings of hurt dissipated as though (her words) “the feelings were like thunder clouds passing so the sun could finally come out.”

The relationships we have with people in our lives, whether they’re friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances or even strangers, can be transformed to higher levels of vibration by simply directing our thoughts and feelings with grace.  Forgiving others who we feel have hurt us can heal so many wounds. I developed the process of Grace-Making® through a story in the pages of a novel I was reading called “Wanderground Stories of the Hill Women” by Sally Miler Gearhart.  When I came across this particular story, it became an inspired action… I started using it as a process to connect with those in my experience I felt had hurt me.  Grace-Making® is a healing process that has helped me to release the assumptions, limitations and judgments I was sure I didn’t have but nonetheless knew from an inner truth needed to be healed. This made Gandhi’s words true for me: “You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

The first time you do this, you may wish to insert Your name in place of the asterisk to clear out anything that you may wish to forgive in yourself. For some, the process may be easiest when you do insert another person’s name first…

I offer this process to help you heal old wounds and open up to the deeper connections that are inspired from your inner truth.

GRACE-MAKING® -- I center my awareness of * (person you’re thinking of or yourself). I pay close attention to envisioning the other wo/man, noting in my mind every detail of my memory of *, dwelling with care upon *’s temperament, upon *’s behavior, upon *’s intentions/motivations. I close my eyes and turn my awareness to each aspect of *. I feel myself fill with appreciation. I allow the feeling to overflow like clear water from a cup or a waterfall. I make a wide stream of the water and let it run over *’s head, drenching her/him with respect and care. When I come to be aware of the parts of * that I do not like – their boundless scattered energy or self-depleting way of seeing themselves or me for instance, I address * directly, attempting to establish contact with those parts, however unpleasant they are to me. To them I say simply “I see you and I don’t choose to praise you. As you are a part of *, I offer you, too, the care I send to *.

I take care not to enfold *, not to ask for *’s attention. My grace-making is the creation of a gift for the other, a gift of love and strength that * could reach for in a crisis. * may be having a number of crises lately, and could use a little grace.

I offer this attention, my vibration, only as it comes from my own fullness, never from any duty or obligation. I remind myself,  “If I do not give from my overflow, then what I give is poison; so I give from the grace given to me, with and as love, to *.”

This is Grace-Making® ~sending the vibration of love to ourselves, to another, or to many ~ is born from the holographic principle that we are all an equal piece of the whole…if each wo/man offers attention beyond what is needed, then caring energy will always be available to us all; well it is always available, but now let it be part of Our collective vibration.

Now, go be the change you want to see in others…

Experience higher levels of grace in your relationships...


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Gabriele Reign is the Visionary Coach, Author, and Mentor to Women who want to transform their world. She guides women to live their true purpose. Her eZine goes out to over 5,000 subscribers. If you are ready to live your life at a higher level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at:
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